John Fela (EdM) is a national disability advocate who works with both faith-based and non-faith-based disability organizations. He previously worked for Joni and Friends, a global disability ministry. Prior to that, he spent almost twenty years in education, serving in a variety of roles as a teacher in both public and private school settings, as a mentor, and as a school director. He holds certifications in both Montessori and traditional teaching methods and has trained in a variety of specializations, including ESL and special education. He is a public speaker, a blogger for a variety of disability advocacy platforms, and the author of Faith like My Father, a memoir of his journey as a parent of disability. John lives in Lyons, Illinois, with his wife, Faith, and is father to his son, Christopher (ASD/NS). Follow John on his website: www.johnfela.com.
Q: What motivated you to tell this story, and why now?
A: The journey of being a special needs parent is rife with challenges on numerous levels. We face the uncertainty of our child’s future, concerns over their school placement and various therapy approaches, medical and health crises, a higher divorce rate when a disabled child is involved, and wondering whether they will ever be truly accepted in the world. I experienced all of these with my son, from him being born premature to navigating therapy and school decisions, a seizure disorder that resulted in brain surgery, and eventually facing divorce and raising my son as a co-parent.
My hope is that by telling this story, one of immense challenges and crises, I can also share the power that my Christian faith played in helping me to overcome every one of these. In my book, I also reflect on the advice that my own father gave me as a child—advice that I completely ignored until I understood what it meant years later. This is a story that needs to be shared for every family dealing with special needs, whether made up of people of faith or not, to help remind them that despite how bleak things may look, hope is just around the corner. This story is also for men and special needs dads specifically, as so many dads I connect with struggle with their purpose and value in their family’s life, just as I did throughout this story.
Q: What was the most challenging part of writing your book?
A: The most challenging part of writing this book was reliving all these fairly traumatic experiences in my life, not just with my son and his challenges, but also in my childhood. Early on in the book, I reflect on how difficult it was growing up in an alcoholic home with an abusive father, one who was checked out for most of my youth. My father also had many health issues and scares, some of which still haunt me to this day.
Q: How does your personal or professional background influence your writing?
A: My personal and professional background and experience help to shape this book greatly. It is not just a retelling of my journey raising my son with a disability; it’s also about how my work in education helped to support me as a parent and how being a parent in this world helped me become a better educator. My transition into my advocacy work is also a highlight of my story, as I took everything I learned from this world and made a conscious choice to serve and give back to families and parents like me. Most influential of all, though, were the lessons of compassion and forgiveness I learned from friends and other professionals I have worked with. I learned the value of acknowledging your past circumstances but also overcoming them to grow and heal.
Q: Who do you hope this book will resonate with the most?
A: I feel that this book can relate to multiple groups of people on a variety of levels. First, special needs families of faith, as this is a story of a special needs parent who found his relationship with Christ to be the anchor that grounded him on his journey. Second, any special needs family who needs a piece of hope along their way. I believe the story will resonate with any family like mine that has experienced many of these challenges. Lastly, it is for men, specifically dads, to give them a sense of empowerment in their roles as husband and father. Even when their marriages are struggling, and even if their marriages have ended, their place in their children’s lives still matters.
Q: What advice would you give to someone thinking about writing a book based on their real-life experiences?
A: To any potential authors who seek to write about their own lives, be honest and truthful. My goal was not just to tell my story, but to say it with a rawness and transparency that people could respond to, even in the most hopeless of places. The more you can draw readers into your story, the more they will engage and be willing to turn to the next page.
Q: What’s one thing readers might be surprised to learn about your journey, whether in life or in writing?
A: I have always wanted to be a writer and, eventually, an author. The nature of the book I wanted to write has definitely changed over the years. When I was in college, I wanted to write the next great beat novel. In my years as a teacher, I wanted to write about education. But as a special needs parent and then advocate, it became obvious. I actually started my writing career as a blogger for a small disability organization in Wisconsin. From there, I began to get picked up by other organizations as a writer.
Q: Do you have a writing routine or ritual that helps keep you focused?
A: I learned early on that I needed to be very intentional with the space that I made for writing, especially with a loaded work/life schedule. In the early years, I would carve out small chunks of time during lesson planning or grading. Once I left teaching, it was a matter of scheduling it as part of my evening routine. While it took almost five years to write my book, during the last six months, I made a point to commit to writing at least three pages a day for a few days a week.
Q: Is there a particular quote, motto, or piece of wisdom that guided you through the writing process?
A: An author friend once told me that “writers write,” meaning that it’s not something that you only do when all the circumstances are lined up. Writing needs to be a discipline, a form of expression, but also a way of life.
Q: Are you working on another book or project you'd like to share?
A: I am not currently working on another project. However, I am excited about a book that I contributed to that a counselor friend is doing with global autism advocate Temple Grandin. That book will be coming out this spring, right after mine!
Q: What are five books that have had a lasting impact on you?
A:
1. The Bible, specifically the New Testament, and more specifically the Book of Matthew.
2. On The Road. I was a huge fan of Jack Kerouac and the beat novelists of the 1950s and ’60s. I loved the way Kerouac could describe his surroundings and experiences with the minutest of detail, something that heavily influenced me.
3. Angela’s Ashes. Growing up in an alcoholic household, I was struck by the way Frank McCourt shared the trauma of his upbringing. Even though Frank and I grew up in a different place and time, his book still resonated with me and my own family.
4. The Voice of Victory. My friend Wayne Messmer, a professional singer and local celebrity, shares his story of being shot in an attempted robbery thirty years ago, almost losing his life and his most precious gift, his voice. He not only overcame the incident and was able to return to singing and performing, but he even went so far as to visit his attacker in prison and forgive him. He taught me the power of love and forgiveness.
5. Disability and the Church. My friend Lamar Hardwick, an adult with autism and a disability ministry advocate and author, presents the best argument I have ever read for the church as a whole to embrace people and families of disability in their congregations, regardless of their size or resources. In my work advocating to churches on this subject, this is the book I always recommend for staff and leaders to help open their minds and hearts to people just like my own son.
John Fela's new book, Faith Like My Father, is coming soon February 3, 2026!