Kevin Kidder is a distinguished leader with twenty years of service in the United States Army, the majority of which were spent in leadership roles. Transitioning from military service, he discovered firsthand the struggles of identity, purpose, and connection that many veterans face once the uniform comes off.
Out of that journey came The Invisible Veteran, his first book, written to help service members and their families reclaim purpose and build lives of meaning beyond the military. As evidenced by this project, Kevin is passionate about leadership, personal growth, and building communities where veterans and spouses are seen, valued, and equipped for the next chapter of life.
He currently lives in Michigan and is enrolled in Brian Cain's Mental Performance Mastery certification course. Kevin is also the founder of Emerging Mindset Enterprise (EME), a leadership and personal development company dedicated to helping veterans and their families reclaim purpose, identity, and connection beyond the uniform. Through EME, Kevin continues his lifelong mission of service—not on the battlefield but in the arena of personal growth and transformation.
Q: What motivated you to tell your story, and why now?
A: It wasn’t just something I was casually observing; I was living it.
After leaving the military, I found myself dealing with a loss of identity, a lack of purpose, and a real struggle to connect with people outside of that world in a genuine way. On the outside, everything looked fine. On the inside, it was a completely different story.
I realized I wasn’t alone. I started having conversations with friends, people I respected, and people I looked up to. They had gone through or were going through the same thing.
At a certain point, it all came to a head. I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
That’s when I knew this wasn’t just my story to carry. It was something that needed to be said out loud.
Q: What was the most challenging part of writing your book?
A: The most challenging part wasn’t the writing itself; it was coming to terms with the notion that I had the authority to write it.
I didn’t set out to write a book. What started this was four nights of just getting everything out. No structure, no plan. It was more of a cathartic release than anything else.
But once I realized it had the bones of a book, the challenge shifted.
I started to question whether I was the right person to tell it, not because I doubted my experiences, but because I understood that people would read it. And with that comes a level of responsibility.
It took me some time to believe that my story and the lessons within it were worth putting out there.
Once I got past that, the focus became taking something raw and emotional and shaping it into something clear and useful for someone else.
Emotions started it, but belief and intentionality finished it.
Q: How did your military mindset influence your writing?
A: My military background shaped this completely, especially the emphasis on honest self- assessment.
In the US Army, after major events, we conduct after-action reviews (AARs). Everyone involved participates, and there is a proctor/referee to keep the conversation from turning into a critique or finger-pointing session. The goal of an AAR is to identify what was supposed to happen, what actually happened, and what you can do better next time. It requires honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable.
I approached my story the same way.
What I thought would happen was simple. I believed my transition to civilian life after twenty years of service, deployments, and education would be smooth.
It wasn’t.
What actually happened was that I struggled immensely physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I had to own that and my decisions.
The final piece was asking myself, what can I do better? How can I help someone else?
That meant not holding on to the lessons and trying to shift this narrative of “It sucked for me, so it has to suck for you.” It meant sharing these lessons so someone else doesn’t have to figure it out the hard way.
Q: Who do you hope this book helps, and what should they take away?
A: Once I realized this had the bones of a book, my first thought was simple: I wish I had this when I got out of the military.
There are three groups I wrote this for:
First, the veteran who is either out and struggling or the service member preparing to transition out of the military. This book is a mirror and a map, something that helps them feel seen while also giving them a clearer sense of what to expect and how to navigate it.
Second, the families and loved ones of veterans, the people who know something’s off but don’t fully understand why. This gives them insight so they can show up in a more meaningful way.
And third, employers of veterans. There are a lot of misconceptions, some well intentioned, about who veterans are and what they need. Veterans don’t need to be managed differently. They need to be understood correctly.
At the end of the day, the message is simple: You’re not alone, and you don’t have to go it alone.
Q: What advice would you give someone writing from personal experience?
A: First, do it.
Even if it never gets published, putting your thoughts and experiences into words is incredibly powerful. There’s a sense of clarity and healing that comes from it.
Second, commit to being honest.
You’ll feel the pull to protect people or to present yourself a certain way. You have to resist that. The goal is to tell the truth as clearly as you can.
And third, be prepared for how it lands.
If you’re telling real stories, you may hurt someone’s feelings. You may be misunderstood. That comes with it.
If you hold back, the book won’t say what it needs to say.
Q: What might surprise readers about your journey?
A: What might surprise people is that my life has been marked by constantly adapting, but I have not always known who I am.
Growing up, I moved a lot—different states, different schools, different environments. I got really good at blending in and figuring out who I needed to be in each place just to fit.
I became a chameleon without even realizing it.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that while I was adapting to everything around me, I wasn’t really developing a clear sense of who I was.
That had a cost.
I didn’t have the traditional stability—same hometown, same friends, long-standing traditions. And while I wouldn’t trade my experiences, there are moments where I recognize what I missed.
At the same time, it gave me something valuable. It made me highly adaptable, and it gave me the ability to connect with people on a deeper level. Not small talk—real conversations.
The military fit that pattern well. Change didn’t bother me. Movement didn’t bother me. But it also gave me something I hadn’t really had before—structure and identity.
So when I left, it wasn’t just another transition.
It was the first time I had to figure out who I was without adjusting to a new environment, without a role to step into.
And if I’m being honest, at my core, I’ve always felt like an underdog.
There are two sayings I connect with: “Bet against me. That’ll be fun,” and “I’ll take the over on the underdog.”
That mindset has followed me my entire life.
I think a big part of my journey has been proving to myself that I don’t have to just adapt to the environment anymore. I get to define who I am.
Q: Do you have a writing routine or ritual?
A: For this book, I didn’t have a routine at all.
It came out over four days, completely unstructured and driven by what was bubbling under the surface and needed to be let out.
After that, the process became more intentional. I stepped away, came back, and shaped it into something more structured.
Now, as I work on future books, my approach is different. I block off time to outline, develop ideas, and build the story with more discipline.
The first book was born out of emotion. The next ones are being built with intention.
Q: Is there a guiding philosophy behind your writing?
A: My guiding philosophy is simple: I want to connect with the reader.
Once I realized what I had could become a book, my focus became not just telling my story but making sure it actually reaches the person reading it. If the reader feels connected, the story did its job.
With The Invisible Veteran, that connection is very intentional. I’m writing for the veteran who feels like something is off but can’t quite put it into words. If they read it and think, That’s how I feel/felt, then I’ve done my job.
With Defiantly Optimistic, I’m writing for the reader who wants to understand how people push through adversity and see if they identify some of those same traits in themselves.
With my fiction projects, the goal is immersion. I’m writing for the person who wants to step into another world, whether it’s early in the morning with a cup of coffee or at the end of a long day, and just get lost in the story.
Q: Are you working on another project?
A: Yes, I’m working in two different lanes.
The first is another nonfiction book called Defiantly Optimistic.
It’s built around the idea that optimism isn’t passive; it’s a discipline and a decision. I’m interviewing people who have gone through real adversity and identifying the traits and mindset that allow them to move forward. Instead of focusing on individual stories, the book is structured around those shared characteristics.
The second is a fiction project, a modern military suspense thriller following a former soldier transitioning into law enforcement and beyond.
It’s loosely based on how my life could have unfolded.
Q: Who has influenced your outlook on life and storytelling?
A: My influences really span different seasons of my life.
Growing up, I was drawn to stories early. I read series like The Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, and Encyclopedia Brown. I also loved Roald Dahl’s books, especially James and the Giant Peach. I also really liked The Indian in the Cupboard. Those books made reading fun and pulled me into imagination early.
I also read a lot of biographies—Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Jackie Robinson, Martin Luther King Jr., Roberto Clemente. Looking back, I think that’s where I first started to understand leadership, adversity, and legacy without even realizing it.
As I got older, To Kill a Mockingbird was a pivotal moment for me. It showed me how much emotion a story can carry. Around that same time, Jurassic Park completely pulled me in. The way Michael Crichton balanced intelligence, tension, and character was on another level.
Ender’s Game is still one of my all-time favorites. The depth, strategy, and leadership under pressure really stuck with me.
Later in life, The Mission, The Men, and Me by Peter Blaber shaped how I think about leadership and decision-making.
From a storytelling standpoint, Brad Thor, Jack Carr, and Ryan Pote have had a major impact on me. They’re not just influences; they’re master storytellers. When I read their work, I’m not just following a story; I’m in it. I can close my eyes and picture the room, the tension, the movement. That level of immersion is something I study and try to bring into my own work.
Taylor Sheridan is another one. He bet on himself and has proven himself to be quite the storyteller.
Outside of books, I’m influenced by storytellers in music. Billy Joel and Bruce Springsteen are masters at capturing real human experiences. I’ve become a big fan of Morgan Wallen, Eric Church, and Luke Combs. I think they are authentic and vulnerable storytellers. I’m also a fan of Taylor Swift, not just as an artist but as a strategist. The way she creates connection and meaningful moments has influenced how I think about engaging with an audience.
Learn more about Kevin Kidder and his book, The Invisible Veteran, here. Coming soon May 2026.